Death Will Become Rental: Head Stoner : A New Blahhg

Published November 1, 2013 by Larry Fisher

Head Stoner-  A Rental Cemetery Plot Blog, will be here any day now. As soon as all the Brownstones get bought up and all the poor people are pushed out, Real Estate dudes are gonna come looking for your dead momma.

First, the real estate dudes will buy out the Cemetery Plots throughout the city. Then they will offer the deceased family money to remove the bones and the headstone, and then” let the rentals begin! ”

Instead of owning your own burial plot, you will only be  able to rent your hole  for 20 years. After 20 years, someone is going to have to come dig you up and  move your headstone and make room for the next dude.  Your headstone doesn’t even have to be made of stone, it could be made of Styrofoam. You know the kind of headstone that you see in people’s front yards on Halloween. So that when the next generation picks up their kin, you can carry the headstone under one arm and the bones in a garbage bag as you leave the Head Stoner’s Office.

I bet Head Stoner : The Blahhg… could become as big as Brownstoner : The Blog Head Stoner will show available plots throughout the city. Beautiful recently emptied holes, already rich in nutrients, ready for your death.

The difference between Head Stoner: The Blahhg and Brownstoner: The Blog is barely discernible:.

Wealthy Entrepreneurs can go to Cemeteries and buy  out dead people. The Entrepreneur can buy the dead people from living family members who need some money to pay  for their own living  space.  Oh, wait a second, I already said that earlier. That’s O.K. I want you to see the future, and understand that I am kidding but that I’m not.

The bones and headstone are removed, and now the entrepreneur can rent those plots out for twenty years. Death Will become Rental. You wait and see.

Oh, and what happens to the bones that have been removed from their final resting place? “Here’s a garbage bag and there’s the incinerator. That will be 200 dollars please.”


Hmm…I bet if I started Head Stoner : The Blahhg. It could become bigger than Brownstoner…I think I will give it a shot.





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