Help Me Brand The Muckster – Part 2

Published November 23, 2013 by Larry Fisher

Say it,”Muckster.” Say it again, “Muckster!”

Rhymes with Huckster, and Fuckster

These are the guys worse than Yuppies, worse than Hipsters, worse than the combo Yupster. These Mucksters are at the bottom of the barrel.

M is for Middle aged

U is for Urban

C is for Corporate (douche bags)

K is for “Know It Alls”

They are the guys who look at you and look to see if they can brand you. I mean they want to take a hot iron and see if they can put a little c in a circle on your ass and call it theirs.

They would love to brand everything that makes money. Even the ridiculous idea of a flea market, can be turned into a commodity worth branding.

“Our brand  is different than other flea markets. We don’t let people  sell sausages. We  only let them sell artisanal pork belly, jellied and codified in this tube which you can use as a toothpaste and is environmentally sound.”

They spin something that exists. They’ve  re spun the wheel, “The wheel didn’t exist like this before. Once we put “our brand” on that wheel, it doesn’t even look like a wheel . We branded this new circular motion that goes round and round but it never spun like this!”


Mucksters make things that other people have already made, but the Muckster turns it into their own by  making it seem precious and “branding it. ”

The people  who follow the Mucksters  preciousness, are lemmings who are followers of whatever they are told to follow. You can’t blame the lemmings. They just want to fit in. And the casing on that sausage is a different color and hardly looks or tastes like a sausage, once you squeeze it out of that colorful  tube onto your toothbrush!”

The Muckster is the Yuppie times 10… A Yuppie doesn’t care about anything but himself. I can respect that over the Muckster.  A Muckster is curious about who you are, because he thinks he can take your essence, enslave it and make a ton of money off of it. Or, the Muckster sees something new, and finds a way to water it down and “brand” it.

Often, the Muckster came out of Hipster culture and so thinks he’s a “know it all, about what is cool.

He mostly has it wrong. The new music he likes is typically  just as lame as Pat Boone was when he took black rhythm and blues music and dressed it down for the white kids.


Probably a nerd as a kid who learned how to use social media.

Marketing, advertising, social networking all to make money. Help me brand the word Muckster.

The Muckster is a monster. He’s been here all along. I just came up with a new word for this creature. I don’t think I am re-inventing the wheel. I am just watching it spin out of control.


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