I’m Out With The Insiders – Tails Of Ye Olde Williamsburg Brooklyn- The Truth Is The Matter 11

Published January 21, 2010 by Larry Fisher

The old Italian woman explained the seance to her son-in-law, Chucky’s father. She spit and gesticulated for a half an hour. She hit him and spinned around the room for quite some time.
Chucky’s father, “Old Man John” as we knew him, looked at us gravely,”She says the only way to bring Chucky back from limbo is to say nice things about Chucky. I already told her that that is not easy to do. Yes, he was my son, and yes, I taught him how to commit crimes but I told him to respect his friends, and that is something he never was able to do. He would say,’Dad, my friends are the ones I can do all kinds of shit to and they are just going to kick my ass when they catch up with me. That I can handle…’ That was my son… I ask you to try to say something in response to this crazy old lady and the poor boy’s mother who is suffering, with the fact that her son is duct taped to the ceiling. I personally do not want to move a corpse from the ceiling. Please think very hard and encourage this cursed boy to want to live again.”
Nobody said anything for a really long time. It was weird to be holding these freaking hands off of corpses as part of this Italian Witchcraft voodoo ritual… or whatever this Executioner’s Wife was doing hundreds of years ago.

Finally, Sonny got the ball rolling,” I was always impressed with how Chucky. He was the hardest working criminal I ever met. He could commit a big job and instead of hanging out and getting high, he would get high and then go out there and commit another crime. He could do a bank job and then steal candy from the corner store. No job was too big or too small for him to avoid.”
We all shook heads in agreement.
Luigi added,”Even the cops didn’t want to put Chucky through the system. They said,’He uses all the ink in the printer when we punch up his name.’ He didn’t believe in the bible, and wrote his own when it came to his criminal offenses…
Manny said,”I remember the cops looking for Chucky and saying,’Can you just beat him up for us, instead of us arresting him.’ Then they would give me twenty dollars in a handshake.”
We all laughed in our seance circle around Chucky. We looked up at him.
Old Man John looked at the little grandmother. She gave him the nod,”O.K. boys we apparently are on the right track for getting Chucky out of limbo and coming back to the planet.”
Sonny said,”Are we really,really sure we want this kid back?”
The little grandmother started spitting and gesticulating again. She hit Old Man John across the face three time.
Old Man John said,” His Grandmother is not crazy about Chucky either. This curse by the Executioner’s Wife is more than just saying goodbye to Chucky. If he dies now, and goes and meets the Executioner’s Wife and they have sex in limbo…Then they will haunt us for the rest of our lives.
The dead hands we held in our hands, opened and closed.
I quickly felt the need to make sure Chucky lived,” I remember Chucky asking me if he was entitled to fuck his ex-wife after he paid his alimony payments.”
Luigi added,”Fortunately, he never paid Susie and their 3 kids.
Then I started to feel I had an angle into making the Executioner’s Wife let go of Chucky’s spirit,”Chucky wasn’t a man who worried about the crimes that he did, because he wasn’t really a criminal.”
The fellas all looked at me in shock.
I continued,”Think about what he was like in Prison. He was never bad in Prison. The Warden called him a Saint and always waited for Chucky’s return. He talked to the other inmates and made them turn away from crime. He was quiet and protected the weaker prisoners from abuse. In prison, Chucky was pious. They didn’t want him out, but once outside, he couldn’t help himself.”
Manny said,”And your point?”
“I don’t think the Executioner’s Wife will want a partner who will be a goody two shoes. He will be imprisoned by her, and he will be pious with her.”
I felt the dead hands move and let go of the dead hands which Manny and Sonny were holding.”
Chucky opened his eyes,”Can someone cut me down. I have crimes to commit. If I rest too long I get musty… Hey are those hands and crap worth anything I got out of Sonny’s safe?”
We threw the Executioners Wife’s hands onto the floor in front of us.
Sonny said,” I owe you Chucky, I got a feeling the Executioner’s Wife wouldn’t have let go of me.”
“Yeah, you’re a real catch for a dead witch,” I said.
A hand started crawling towards me,”Um, is there something we can do about all this Executioners Wife’s crap?”
The little grandmother started spitting and kicking and running around in circles and speaking in Italian.
Old Man John said,”Yeah, get a safe, and put all that crap in it and throw it to the bottom of the river.”
“So Chucky what did you see on the other side?” Manny asked.
Chucky shook his head,”For the rest of my life, I’m here to do God’s work.”
Luigi asked seriously,”God is a crook?”
“He told me to do what I do best.”
“Uh-oh,” we all said including his little old Italian grandmother

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